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StevenForbes
Tuesday, September 09, 2008, 04:13 PM
I was going to start this off with a Prince quote, but since this is Tuesday and he wrote Manic Monday, it wouldn't have really fit, you know?

So, welcome back to another edition of Bolts & Nuts! We've talked about a lot of stuff so far, and have yet to really scratch the surface of what you need to do to both write and create comics. So far, we've gone over story, plotting, and characters. We haven't even gotten to scripting yet, which I know you're all just shivering with antici.........pation for. (Name that movie reference!) We still have a way to go before we get there, though. Right now, we still have to go over what you need to do in order to prepare for scripting. With that in mind, let's talk about Writing The Pitch.

A great editor and all around nice guy by the name of Lee Nordling has written three articles on the art of pitching. They can be found here (http://www.comicsbulletin.com/wolfman/106478386819087.htm), here (http://www.comicsbulletin.com/wolfman/106538301215335.htm), and here (http://www.comicsbulletin.com/wolfman/10659851965461.htm). Great reading, and really informative. For a great example of what he's talking about, go here (http://www.digitalwebbing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=127084). This example puts it all together for you, which is something that Lee either forgot to do, couldn't get permission to do from one of his writers, or thought that there were enough places on the web to find them. If you ever run across Lee posting on someone's script, take his word as gospel. He's forgotten more about editing than editing knowledge I have in my whole body.

(Okay, Steven, I get that he's a nice guy. I understand that I should listen to him. But why should I write my pitch before I write my script? I have a Great Idea, and it's just itching to get out. You're already playing with my emotions in making me wait to script. Why do I have to take this seemingly unnecessary step before instead of after?)

Well, first, it's not unnecessary, and script permitting, you'll be doing it at least twice.

First, let's talk about what a pitch is and isn't. Lee went into this somewhat, but I want to expand on it, because lots of people think they know what it is, and then Lee comes along and sets them straight. (Some people have to be told more than once.)

A pitch is a document, generally no more than two pages in length, that you write to sell your story idea. It is NOT a stringent “it can be no more than two lines” thing, because what does that really tell anyone about your opus? The two lines thing is more of a movie-like log line, or something you find as a movie description when you turn to your “what's on now” channel at your local cable station. Die Hard meets Leprechaun doesn't tell me anything. There are moving parts in both of those movies, and the parts you're talking about have to be addressed. Is it the skyscraper? Is it the pot of gold? Is it the horror of having to live through another Leprechaun movie in a skyscraper taken over by German thieves posing as terrorists? What?

A good pitch will tell exactly what the story is about in broad strokes. It's not a book report. It's a longer blurb on the back of a book. Just leave out the questions as plot points. You're trying to sell the story to an editor. The editor is not your audience. They have to know what's going on in the story in order to make a determination about the story. Will Jane be able to save Tarzan from Ungowa, the Lion God? Don't do that. Sure, the editor may want to know what happens, but if they want the story based on that, and then don't get a satisfying answer to the question once they have it, time has been wasted, and you probably won't be getting work from that editor for a good long while.

A good pitch is a promise, and the reason you want to write it before you start scripting is because it'll help you hone the Great Idea into something you can write about. It tells you (and therefore, the editor) what the story is about, and while you're scripting, it'll help to keep you on track. It will help you to keep your promise in the script.

(Steven, I know exactly what my story's about. It's about this guy who finds this thing, and then there are people after him who want the thing, so they send this girl to go get it. So the girl gets the thing from the guy, but finds out she's in love with him. She's torn about giving the thing to the guys, or going back and giving it to the man she loves before he discovers it's gone. Then they do the nasty, and the guy sucks in bed, so she decides to give the thing to the other guys. Come to find out, the thing the guy finds is a computer chip to God, and the guys after it are alien angels from Xarthenon, and the girl is the guy's long lost sister.)

Okay. So what's the story about? And don't tell me that you just told me, because you didn't.

And this is the mistake that lots of writers make. They don't know what their story is about, and just begin writing instead of knowing their story first. And yes, you can take “knowing” to mean the Biblical sense. It's your story, so there's no shame in it.

Remember when I was talking about Story? I said to work the story backwards before you put pen to paper. That still applies, but with the pitch, you're going to be removing the extraneous fluff and cutting to the heart of the story.

Less is more. (That's a Lee quote, almost akin to a James Brown lyric. Another movie reference! I'll even give you a hint- it's a stand-up comedy movie.)

When you get bogged down by the minutia of details, you're no longer telling what the story is about, you're telling the story. However, in reality, that's not what you're doing at all. What you're really doing is boring the editor, and you want to avoid that at all costs.

You've written the pitch, and it's coming in at four pages. You can't think of any more to take out. It's all important, dammit! No, it's not. You've got to cut out at least two more pages. You've got to boil the story down to the essence. Remove the backstory. (How are they going to know what's going on?!) Don't worry about that. It's not important. As a matter of fact, I doubt the backstory is going to make it into the script. If it's not going to make it to the script, why put it in the pitch? Take it out. It's not important right now. What you want to write is about the story arc, character movement, and how the story ends. (Just don't forget to give away the good part first!)

You want to paint the story with a broad brush, but the trick is to make it compelling enough that you want to read more. When you're the one writing the story, that can be difficult. Just know that it can be done. I have faith.

Earlier, I said that, script permitting, you may need to write the pitch again? Well, guess what. We're going to skip over the scripting process to the end, when you're done writing. Now you want to revisit your pitch again. Does the story you wrote match the promise you made? If so, then congratulations, you don't have any more work to do (script revisions notwithstanding).

If it doesn't, then there's a problem, and a choice has to be made. Sometimes, that choice will be made for you. If you have already sent the pitch to an editor and they want the story, then you have re-writing to do. (Remember that writing really is re-writing.) This decision is not yours to make. You've already sold the story, made the promise, and you now have to keep it.

However, if you haven't already sold the story on the pitch, then your choice is to either rewrite the pitch or to rewrite the script. (Steven, you said that the pitch tells what the story is about, and that I should write the story to meet the pitch. That's what you said, and I can prove it! Are you going back on it?) Nope. Not at all. I'm leaving you leeway for the dictates of creative freedom.

Sometimes during the course of writing, the story you start out with is not the story you end up with, no matter how hard you try. Or, which can be even better, the story you end up with is superior to the story you started out with, and on the rare occasions when that happens, you'd want to change the pitch to match it. And that's what I mean by, script depending, you may have to write the pitch twice.

Do you now know everything about pitchwriting? Not at all. What I suggest you do is to read and print out the articles that Lee wrote, and then read the very good example at Digital Webbing. I suggest printing that, as well. I understand that it's chic to be as paperless in today's time, but there are some things that are just better on paper and readily at hand. This is all just a suggestion.

And now I guess it's time for homework. Got any graphic novels or trade paperbacks hanging around? Good. Do this. Write a pitch for it. No more than two pages, and make sure it's not a book report. No, I didn't say to read it again. I said to write a pitch for it. After you've done that, post it here for all to see. It'll be fun! If you wish, read the story again after you're finished writing the pitch (and are satisfied with what you wrote- no reading it beforehand). See if your broad-strokes pitch follows the overall gist of the story you've read. Remember that the pitch has to be broad strokes and interesting. You're trying to SELL the story, not write a book report.

Okay, there's the bell. Orderly, orderly. No shoving. Next week, we start talking about scripting. See? We're getting closer! Until then, be safe.


_________________________________________________________________
Any specific questions, ask them in this thread, and I'll answer them. If it's something of a more delicate nature, e-mail me. I check my e-mail constantly, and will do my best to get back to you within twenty-four hours, depending on the number of you who decide to flood my inbox. No attachments, please. They'll be deleted without being opened. (I know, I know, but blame the virus-makers.)

DavidPaul
Tuesday, September 09, 2008, 09:24 PM
Lee Nordling took some valuable time of his own to help me develop my own skills. I read every post he makes and I take it as gospel. I'm hoping we can get some heavier traffic through here because this is a valuable service you are offering to new creators. And, man do they need it! By "they" I mean I'm throwing myself in there too. Always learning.

StevenForbes
Tuesday, September 09, 2008, 11:31 PM
Thanks, Dave. I appreciate it.

I'd love to get more traffic through here, too- or more people posting than you and Seb. As you can see, the column gets a decent amount of looks, but only a few replies. At least I can count on you and Sebastian to say something.

I'm thinking about another aside for next week, talking about the making of a creative team. I can't decide if I should do it after scripting, or before.

I don't want creators to think that they're ready for a creative team once they finish scripting, and I don't want the creative team thing to come too early. I'm thinking this will be a good place for it.

Thoughts?

SebastianPiccione
Tuesday, September 09, 2008, 11:37 PM
Lee Nordling....Editor to the Gods.

Of, course, Forby here aint none too shabby, himself. you keep these columns very helpful, yet broken into easily accesible chunks. As a teacher myself, I can very much appreciate the way you break this down. Also, unlike cetain other columns about writing, you don't condescend; and you don't spout on about your own achievements.

Much Kudos, young master Forby!

StevenForbes
Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 12:16 AM
Thanks, Sebastian.

I want the information to be easily accessible, and to progress to an advanced stage. I've read a few books on scripting, but they don't talk about a LOT of things- things I see wrong in a lot of scripts posted by newbies. I'm not saying that my way is the right way, but it will help to create scripts that are much better than a lot of what I see at DW.

As for my "achievements," I honestly feel I don't have much in the way of that. I haven't won any awards, I haven't discovered anything new, I haven't been published by Marvel/DC/Image/Dark Horse. So to me, I don't have much to crow about, except my desire to help writers get better.

My goal is to one day be as good as Lee. One day. I have a LOT of learning to do.

Sliverbane
Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 02:57 AM
Wow, you know I never even thought about pitching my stories like this.... Of course I'm own worst critic when it comes to seeking to publish anything I create. This is inspiring.

StevenForbes
Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 02:18 PM
I'm happy you were able to get something out of it, and I hope to continue to be inspiring and give information that's helpful.

I do suggest doing the "homework," because practice is the only way to get better.

LiamBradley
Friday, April 17, 2009, 04:11 PM
that movie referance is The Rocky Horror Picture Show btw :p

StevenForbes
Friday, April 17, 2009, 04:46 PM
Thanks, Liam!

What about the other one? ;)

LiamBradley
Friday, April 17, 2009, 05:00 PM
I have no idea, is it from Stewar Lee's stand-up comedian?

StevenForbes
Friday, April 17, 2009, 05:13 PM
Nope. No worries. :)

LiamBradley
Friday, April 17, 2009, 05:18 PM
what is it ?:(

StevenForbes
Friday, April 17, 2009, 06:08 PM
Oh, come on. That would be telling! How much fun is that?

rhannah
Tuesday, May 12, 2009, 09:01 PM
What would the pitch for Astro City look like, considering there is no central character? How would you sell it to a publisher?

Cary
Tuesday, May 12, 2009, 09:30 PM
if i were pitching Astro City?

"Astro City is a collection of intertwining and ever deepening stories about heroes and the people they not only affect, but influence as they try to protect them."

MartinBrandt
Wednesday, May 13, 2009, 02:18 AM
if i were pitching Astro City?

"Astro City is a collection of intertwining and ever deepening stories about heroes and the people they not only affect, but influence as they try to protect them."
That is a log line though or a good 2 floor pitch.

rhannah
Wednesday, May 13, 2009, 02:20 AM
if i were pitching Astro City?

"Astro City is a collection of intertwining and ever deepening stories about heroes and the people they not only affect, but influence as they try to protect them."

I think that covers it, but it doesn't 'sell it' to me. What makes it different doesn't stand out to me with that wording at least. It is a slightly unusual book so a little trickier to trim down into a single sentence log line. I'm no expert by any means. But I would think that the twists on the Marvel and DC universes would be the biggest selling point... the most exciting factor to grab the editor. The human story element in the example given saps the energy out of the pitch without that extra bit of "wow".

Or am I missing the point about 'pitches' and the opening lines?

And Steven, are you sure the Gangrene example on Digital Webbing actually meets the criteria that both you and Lee seem to be prescribing. It reads to me like a play by play of events as opposed to the broader story arcs, character movements...



An undead Private Eye must race to rescue a kidnapped child, before his body decomposes once and for all.

The opening line doesn't even deliver 'the end' as Lee seems to be promoting in his article about pitches. Isn't it more of a cliffhangar or teaser as you would give to your readers as opposed to an editor? Overall, the Gangrene pitch while interesting doesn't actually tell the editor anything concrete about where the story is going beyond the first issue. I'm sure I'm missing the point somehow... call me a bad student for not listening... but the Gangrene pitch does not seem to be an ideal example of the sort of pitch Lee and even yourself are encouraging.


Two weeks ago, private investigator Dan Green clawed his way free from a shallow grave. With his body and neck covered by deep stab wounds, Dan was amazed to still be alive.

A few hours later, he discovered he wasn’t. A mysterious man-made virus had brought Dan back from beyond the grave, trapping his fully working intellect inside the rotting body of a murdered corpse.

After initially terrifying his old friend – retired police coroner, Mike Fulton – the two men work together to solve the case Dan was working on when he was killed: The kidnapping of a six year old girl.

As Dan does some digging, his living dead status begins to prove useful. He does not tire. He can feel no pain. Short of a direct hit to the brain, in fact, nothing seems to be able to stop him.

When a run in with the kidnappers and their hungry dog leaves Dan as a limbless torso, Mike stitches him back together, using body parts robbed from the local graveyard. The virus spreads to the new limbs, and Dan is back on his – or at least, someone’s – feet in no time.

With renewed determination, Dan sets off to track the kidnappers down once again. He finds them performing at a motorcycle stunt show, and when he confronts them he is dragged into a three-on-one battle in the centre of the outdoor arena.

After a bloody tussle, Dan gets the truth from one of the bikers. The girl was kidnapped to order, and has already been passed on to the person who paid for her abduction.

Although his injured body is growing steadily weaker, Dan follows the trail until he finds the mastermind behind the kidnapping – a US Government Agent working on a top secret military weapons programme.

Realising he is in over his head, Dan grabs the girl and flees, but not before discovering how important she is for his own survival.

Before they can escape, the agent unleashes his latest work in progress – the kidnappers’ grotesquely mutated dog, which became infected by Dan’s virus after gnawing on his flesh.

Dan must face the savage monstrosity and defeat it, or else lose the girl he has fought so hard to find, and in doing so kiss goodbye to his own slim chance at life.

StevenForbes
Wednesday, May 13, 2009, 02:48 AM
Don't mistake a pitch for something that HAS to use the LNP (Lee Nordling Paradigm). While it's something that's good to try to master, not every story is going to fit it. Why try to fit a square peg into a round hole?

This does go somewhat into plot development, but it gives an overall character arc and spells out the importance of some characters as well as giving some action while being less than a page long. It lets you know where it's going, and shows you something of the path while getting there.

This is something to capture the interest of the editor, while also showing that you have the chops to write the story. If you write a pitch for a black comedy, then your pitch should match the tone of the proposed book. It should have elements of black humor. If it's a rollicking action piece, then it should have action in it.

I've seen WAY too many pitches that don't make any sense, or try to use the LNP without full understanding, or get too bogged down in the details without saying what the story is about. Thankfully, because of Lee, everyone seems to have gotten pitch-crazy (please, no jokes about a "fever pitch"), and are writing pitches left and right. For the most part, they're dull affairs that are a chore to get through. The writer is in love with their own voice, and you can see it happening.

The Gangrene pitch works. It will get the attention of the editor, who will then ask to see more, which is the entire purpose of the pitch in the first place. Perfect? Nope. But it's a great example of a pitch that is head and shoulders above most, especially for being a second draft.

That's why I linked to it.

rhannah
Wednesday, May 13, 2009, 03:42 PM
10-4! Thanks for the clarification, Steve.