Thunderstrike
Friday, January 04, 2008, 05:57 PM
Yes, I jacked this from another board, but it's great and I thought it should be here.. oh and for anyone who doesn't know what BAMF means.... Bad Ass Mother Fucker
“I kick ass for the Lord!”
-- That Priest in Brain Dead/Dead Alive
“Now I kill you so hard even your ancestors die.”
-- Pimp Ninja, Sinfest.
“Kitty, are you nearly done? I think you’re just playing now...”
“Give me a minute. This one’s still got his eyes open.”
“I have come here to kick ass, and chew bubblegum. And I’m all out of bubblegum.”
“The Rock’s fixin to lay the smackdown on you and there’s two things you can do about it: Nothing and like it.” -- Obvious
Bad-guy - “I’m your worst nightmare.”
Bruce Wayne (Batman Beyond) - “You’ve never seen my nightmares.”
“Do you understand me? I hate you. I want to torture you. I want to leave doctors puzzling for years over how I’ve done the the things I want to do to you. My mild-mannered colleague will not interfere. Your life as a bipedal vertebrate is over.” -- Midnighter
***
Tommy Vercetti faces off with his old mafia boss, Sonny Forelli. Just moments ago he’d watched as his plan fell through, and Lance Vance, one of Tommy’s few friends, has betrayed him. He’s outgunned, outnumbered, and desperate. Sonny knows this, and can’t help but rub it in.
Sonny: So what was the plan? That I’d take the fake money, and leave town with my tail between my legs? Is that what you intended?
Tommy sneers in defiance, and responds.
Tommy: No. I just wanted to piss you off before I killed you.
***
And back to Cohen:
“But you haven’t got a weapon and there’s one of you and they’ve got big swords and there’s five of them!”
“I know,” said the old man, wrapping the chain around one of his fists in a
businesslike manner. “It’s unfair, but I can’t wait around all day.”
***
“We have not heard of you!” said the warlord.
“Yeah,” said Cohen. “That’s how good we are.”
“You couldn’t put a tax on knowledge.”
“The Patrician said you could. It was two hundred dollars per capita; if per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged.”
***
“Look down, your grace,” said Skimmer. “Mhm, mhm.”
Vimes realized he could feel the faintest prick of a knife blade on his stomach.
“Look down further,” he replied.
Inigo looked down. He swallowed. Vimes had a knife, too. “You really are no
gentleman, then,” he said.
“Make a sudden move and neither are you,” said Vimes.
***
Nina - If you send me in there, he’ll know something is up. First thing he’ll do is kill me, and then he’ll turn the gun on himself.
Jack - I’ll make sure he doesn’t turn the gun on himself.
“On this most hallowed night, we are as one. Luke is the vessel. Every soul he takes shall feed me. Their souls will grant me the power to free myself. Tonight I will walk the Earth... and the stars themselves will hide.” BTVS Season One Scriptbook, Vol. 1
Elijah, smashing the head of a mutant in with it’s own frozen arm: “DIE or
something, would you?”
Dylan Hunt: On the count of three?
Tyr Anasazi: No. Let’s just shoot them.
Morden: “Fine. My ships are on the ground, but they can sense an approaching ship miles away. So what are you going to do, Mollari? Blow up the island?”
Londo: “Actually... now that you mention it…” *pulls out a remote control*
Thug: “We don’t talk to security, why should we talk to you?”
Marcus: “Because if you don’t, then in five minutes I’ll be the only person of this table still standing.”
*notices that a lot of people are starting to look at him threateningly*
“And, five minutes after that, I’ll be the only person in this room still standing. So, who’s in?”
(Marcus, ten minutes later.)
“Oh bugger, now I have to wait for someone to wake up.”
“Only one human has ever defeated a Mimbari Battle fleet. He is with us, and you are in front of us. Choose wisely.”
“That was very interesting. But dropping a warship on me is cheating. Take it back.”
Marcus: Back in ranger training they said I was repressing a lot of anger.
Lenier: And?
Marcus: I’m not repressed anymore.
***
“I have tolerated your species for long enough. Your cruelty and your greed
and your insufferable arrogance. You blight the soil and poison the rivers. You raze the vegetation till you cannot even feed your own kind. And then you boast of man’s triumph over nature.
“Fools, if nature were to shrug or raise an eyebrow...
“Then you should all be gone.
“I want my wife.
“You have one hour.”
-- The Swamp Thing
***
“Well, live and learn. I will live, and they will learn.” Lewis picking up a shot gun after learning that a real estate dealer just sold him land that was radioactive.
“Let’s see, who do I hate?” -- Scud the Disposable Assassin, after acquiring a nuclear weapon.
***
I can’t believe I forgot this one, from the third episode of Samurai Jack. It’s near the end of the classic battle between Jack and Aku’s army of beetledrones. Jack has pretty much decimated the drones. He’s all scratched, his hair is messed up, and he’s covered from head to foot in oil, fuel, and other robotic fluids. Sword in hand, he stares down the remaining drones. One drone takes a single step backward...
Jack: *quietly* No. There is no escape.
Jack then proceeds to slice and dice the remaining drones into scrap metal.
***
Guard: I’m sorry sir, but no weapons are allowed here, you’ll have to give me your knife.
Brock Sampson: GO ON, take it from me. *twitch*
“I have no gate key.”
“Fizzik, tear his arms off.”
“Oh, you mean this gate key.”
“The point of war isn’t to die for your country. The point is to make the other bastard die for his.”
Stick-Guy: If you kill me, you’re not better then I am!
Norman: I can live with that.
Hardware is standing over a scientific genius/businessman/crime lord ...
“You’re going to kill me.”
“Not yet. Not before I tell you what I’ve been up to all night. First, I hit your safe. I’ve taken your personal journal, your research notes and anything else that that might help me piece together the structure of your organisation. I couldn’t crack the security on your computer, not in the time available. So I copied everything. I’ll browse through that stuff at my leisure. With that information, I’m going to take your organisation apart, piece by piece. When I’m finished with you, you’ll be living on the street. And one night, when you’re scrounging for a meal from a garbage can, cursing the day you heard my name, one night, after you realise you’re as low as you can go and that I’m the one that put you there ... I’ll walk up to you, and drop a nickel in your beggar’s cup ... and then I’ll kill you.”
***
Senator Vader: Impressive... Most Impressive... But I sense that your friend here... Kidd, The Bionic Commando... Has no such mental defenses....
Bionic Commando: Sure I do. I’m carrying a Hyper Bazooka.
Senator Vader: How can a bazooka protect your mind from the Force?
Bionic Commando: Ever try to use the Force with a smoldering stump where your head used to be?
...
Senator Vader: I think I have some paper work to do.
Bionic Commando: That’s what I thought, Punk.
***
“How many more of you? And who has the courage to be the next? You? You? Your best hope is to drown me in your own blood!” -- Exeter, from Scion.
Big Time: Go a head an’ shoot McDuck! This armor can withstand a blast from a 30 millimeter shell!
Scrooge: Ach, too bad. This tank fires 31 millimetre shells.
BOOM!!!
Wonder Woman: I’ll die before I kneel to you!
Darkseid: Yes.
Killer: “Forty of them, one of me. Looks like the odds are about even.”
Magic Cop: “There are some things that man was not meant to know. It’s my job to hunt down those things and kill them.”
Medic: “I don’t see plugging a maniac like you as a violation of the Hippocratic Oath at all. Basically, I look on it as preventative medicine.”
Old Master: “You think I am old and feeble, do you? Well, face my Flying Windmill Kick, asshole!”
Spy: “They never tell you this in training school, but really the best thing to do in a situation like this is get yourself captured so you can figure out what the enemy is up to.”
“My sorcery makes even gods tremble!”
Angelus: “You’re going to Hell!”
Buffy: “Save me a seat.”
“I am the Guardian of Light and Time! The Daleks call me ‘Bringer of Darkness’! I am the man who gives monsters nightmares! I am the eighth man born! I am the man with two hearts. I make history better! I AM THE DOCTOR!”
***
To be continued...
“I kick ass for the Lord!”
-- That Priest in Brain Dead/Dead Alive
“Now I kill you so hard even your ancestors die.”
-- Pimp Ninja, Sinfest.
“Kitty, are you nearly done? I think you’re just playing now...”
“Give me a minute. This one’s still got his eyes open.”
“I have come here to kick ass, and chew bubblegum. And I’m all out of bubblegum.”
“The Rock’s fixin to lay the smackdown on you and there’s two things you can do about it: Nothing and like it.” -- Obvious
Bad-guy - “I’m your worst nightmare.”
Bruce Wayne (Batman Beyond) - “You’ve never seen my nightmares.”
“Do you understand me? I hate you. I want to torture you. I want to leave doctors puzzling for years over how I’ve done the the things I want to do to you. My mild-mannered colleague will not interfere. Your life as a bipedal vertebrate is over.” -- Midnighter
***
Tommy Vercetti faces off with his old mafia boss, Sonny Forelli. Just moments ago he’d watched as his plan fell through, and Lance Vance, one of Tommy’s few friends, has betrayed him. He’s outgunned, outnumbered, and desperate. Sonny knows this, and can’t help but rub it in.
Sonny: So what was the plan? That I’d take the fake money, and leave town with my tail between my legs? Is that what you intended?
Tommy sneers in defiance, and responds.
Tommy: No. I just wanted to piss you off before I killed you.
***
And back to Cohen:
“But you haven’t got a weapon and there’s one of you and they’ve got big swords and there’s five of them!”
“I know,” said the old man, wrapping the chain around one of his fists in a
businesslike manner. “It’s unfair, but I can’t wait around all day.”
***
“We have not heard of you!” said the warlord.
“Yeah,” said Cohen. “That’s how good we are.”
“You couldn’t put a tax on knowledge.”
“The Patrician said you could. It was two hundred dollars per capita; if per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged.”
***
“Look down, your grace,” said Skimmer. “Mhm, mhm.”
Vimes realized he could feel the faintest prick of a knife blade on his stomach.
“Look down further,” he replied.
Inigo looked down. He swallowed. Vimes had a knife, too. “You really are no
gentleman, then,” he said.
“Make a sudden move and neither are you,” said Vimes.
***
Nina - If you send me in there, he’ll know something is up. First thing he’ll do is kill me, and then he’ll turn the gun on himself.
Jack - I’ll make sure he doesn’t turn the gun on himself.
“On this most hallowed night, we are as one. Luke is the vessel. Every soul he takes shall feed me. Their souls will grant me the power to free myself. Tonight I will walk the Earth... and the stars themselves will hide.” BTVS Season One Scriptbook, Vol. 1
Elijah, smashing the head of a mutant in with it’s own frozen arm: “DIE or
something, would you?”
Dylan Hunt: On the count of three?
Tyr Anasazi: No. Let’s just shoot them.
Morden: “Fine. My ships are on the ground, but they can sense an approaching ship miles away. So what are you going to do, Mollari? Blow up the island?”
Londo: “Actually... now that you mention it…” *pulls out a remote control*
Thug: “We don’t talk to security, why should we talk to you?”
Marcus: “Because if you don’t, then in five minutes I’ll be the only person of this table still standing.”
*notices that a lot of people are starting to look at him threateningly*
“And, five minutes after that, I’ll be the only person in this room still standing. So, who’s in?”
(Marcus, ten minutes later.)
“Oh bugger, now I have to wait for someone to wake up.”
“Only one human has ever defeated a Mimbari Battle fleet. He is with us, and you are in front of us. Choose wisely.”
“That was very interesting. But dropping a warship on me is cheating. Take it back.”
Marcus: Back in ranger training they said I was repressing a lot of anger.
Lenier: And?
Marcus: I’m not repressed anymore.
***
“I have tolerated your species for long enough. Your cruelty and your greed
and your insufferable arrogance. You blight the soil and poison the rivers. You raze the vegetation till you cannot even feed your own kind. And then you boast of man’s triumph over nature.
“Fools, if nature were to shrug or raise an eyebrow...
“Then you should all be gone.
“I want my wife.
“You have one hour.”
-- The Swamp Thing
***
“Well, live and learn. I will live, and they will learn.” Lewis picking up a shot gun after learning that a real estate dealer just sold him land that was radioactive.
“Let’s see, who do I hate?” -- Scud the Disposable Assassin, after acquiring a nuclear weapon.
***
I can’t believe I forgot this one, from the third episode of Samurai Jack. It’s near the end of the classic battle between Jack and Aku’s army of beetledrones. Jack has pretty much decimated the drones. He’s all scratched, his hair is messed up, and he’s covered from head to foot in oil, fuel, and other robotic fluids. Sword in hand, he stares down the remaining drones. One drone takes a single step backward...
Jack: *quietly* No. There is no escape.
Jack then proceeds to slice and dice the remaining drones into scrap metal.
***
Guard: I’m sorry sir, but no weapons are allowed here, you’ll have to give me your knife.
Brock Sampson: GO ON, take it from me. *twitch*
“I have no gate key.”
“Fizzik, tear his arms off.”
“Oh, you mean this gate key.”
“The point of war isn’t to die for your country. The point is to make the other bastard die for his.”
Stick-Guy: If you kill me, you’re not better then I am!
Norman: I can live with that.
Hardware is standing over a scientific genius/businessman/crime lord ...
“You’re going to kill me.”
“Not yet. Not before I tell you what I’ve been up to all night. First, I hit your safe. I’ve taken your personal journal, your research notes and anything else that that might help me piece together the structure of your organisation. I couldn’t crack the security on your computer, not in the time available. So I copied everything. I’ll browse through that stuff at my leisure. With that information, I’m going to take your organisation apart, piece by piece. When I’m finished with you, you’ll be living on the street. And one night, when you’re scrounging for a meal from a garbage can, cursing the day you heard my name, one night, after you realise you’re as low as you can go and that I’m the one that put you there ... I’ll walk up to you, and drop a nickel in your beggar’s cup ... and then I’ll kill you.”
***
Senator Vader: Impressive... Most Impressive... But I sense that your friend here... Kidd, The Bionic Commando... Has no such mental defenses....
Bionic Commando: Sure I do. I’m carrying a Hyper Bazooka.
Senator Vader: How can a bazooka protect your mind from the Force?
Bionic Commando: Ever try to use the Force with a smoldering stump where your head used to be?
...
Senator Vader: I think I have some paper work to do.
Bionic Commando: That’s what I thought, Punk.
***
“How many more of you? And who has the courage to be the next? You? You? Your best hope is to drown me in your own blood!” -- Exeter, from Scion.
Big Time: Go a head an’ shoot McDuck! This armor can withstand a blast from a 30 millimeter shell!
Scrooge: Ach, too bad. This tank fires 31 millimetre shells.
BOOM!!!
Wonder Woman: I’ll die before I kneel to you!
Darkseid: Yes.
Killer: “Forty of them, one of me. Looks like the odds are about even.”
Magic Cop: “There are some things that man was not meant to know. It’s my job to hunt down those things and kill them.”
Medic: “I don’t see plugging a maniac like you as a violation of the Hippocratic Oath at all. Basically, I look on it as preventative medicine.”
Old Master: “You think I am old and feeble, do you? Well, face my Flying Windmill Kick, asshole!”
Spy: “They never tell you this in training school, but really the best thing to do in a situation like this is get yourself captured so you can figure out what the enemy is up to.”
“My sorcery makes even gods tremble!”
Angelus: “You’re going to Hell!”
Buffy: “Save me a seat.”
“I am the Guardian of Light and Time! The Daleks call me ‘Bringer of Darkness’! I am the man who gives monsters nightmares! I am the eighth man born! I am the man with two hearts. I make history better! I AM THE DOCTOR!”
***
To be continued...