EphiamOricuna
Monday, June 28, 2010, 08:38 PM
The first seventeen pages of an original comic script entitled
"Venaitura."
*Roughly after Page 11~ I decided to tone down on my directing and description within the panels. *
"The concept of heaven on earth seems all too delightful. All it takes is one genocidal maniac, and a fortress with enough firepower to snuff out an entire continent. Aaron Ferris, a native demon, is charged with making sure something like this remains a fantasy. To him, a life of war is better than no life at all. "
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 1
by Justin
PAGE ONE (three panels)
Panel 1. Large panel. Establishing shot of VENAITURA, a magnificent tower-esque fortress that is anchored in to the earth. We're seeing things from a birds-eye view. Venaitura has to be MASSIVE—tall AND wide. It's gigantic. It also has to be menacing, and have this truly dangerous air surrounding it. No one (if they're sane) wants to get near this place. Not even close. The fortress is encircled by a mountain range, with a marshland/bog that spews poisonous miasma leading up to the entrance. Everything in the vicinity is either dead or dying. Even the earth has become diseased by this unholy structure. Oh, and there are no towns or cities near this place. No human life what-so-ever.
1 CAP: DEMON FORTRESS VENAITURA
2 CAP: I lead both of them in there knowing the dangers that would await us. I knew I had Reynaldo to rely on, but for how long could I keep this away from her? It became more ridiculous by the minute. She shouldn't have come with us.
Panel 2. Worms-eye view with a dutch tilt. We're seeing Aaron, Reynaldo, and Buima(in that order) approaching the fortress. You can barely distinguish their features amidst the fog and overall drab atmosphere. We should still be able to make out the key features however. Like the entrance, the ground, and some outlining structures... perhaps the side of one of the mountains that's strayed on to the path? Whatever seems fitting.
3 BUIMA: You want us to go in there? Are you serious? Aaron, this is ridiculous! What are you thinking?!
4 AARON: You don't have to follow us you know, Buima. It's
entirely your choice!
(More)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 2
by Justin
PAGE ONE, CONTINUED
Panel 3. Close medium shot of Buima. Buima is in her early twenties, and is a human who is well-versed in magic and its mystical properties. She's a strong individual in both spirit and mind, and it shows through her appearance. She's a very beautiful woman that doesn't decorate herself with unneeded accessories. Regardless, she does wear a gorgeous diamond necklace. She's built like any normal woman in her mid-twenties, and in fairly good shape would look like. The clothing she (and the other characters) wear can be decided entirely by the artist. The time period does have to be considered, of course, and this story was made with the Middle Ages (medieval) in mind, so their attire must be designed accordingly. In the panel, Buima is showing concern for her foolish brother, but is also very unhappy and frustrated with his decision.
5 BUIMA: My choice? How could I possibly allow you to go in there with just Reynaldo? Neither of you know any proper magic, and you'd undoubtedly be killed! This isn't a game!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 3
by Justin
PAGE TWO (four panels)
Panel 1. Long medium shot of Aaron, Reynaldo, and Buima as they take their first steps in to the fortress. Aaron is giving little mind to Buima, who continues to try and sway his decision. Reynaldo simply ignores them both, and actually appears to be quite amused with the bickering siblings. Aaron and Reynaldo are both demons. And demons in “Venaitura” aren't these gigantic, monstrous, and over-sized beasts. There are different classifications. Aaron and Reynaldo are “Third-Level,” meaning they have a very human appearance. Maybe they have pointed ears, or sharper teeth? Perhaps snake-like eyes! Or even some scales here-and-there. Whatever. But it can't be too OUT THERE. Make it fairly subtle. And because they're both demons, they're fairly lean and muscular. But not overly so! They're both in their early twenties, and are roughly the same height. Aaron might be a bit taller. Aaron also has longer hair than Reynaldo, who prefers to keep his short. If it's possible to see, there's also a small pouch of gold attached to Aaron's waist. This is important for an upcoming event.
1 AARON: Yeah, yeah. I know that it's not a game, you don't have to keep telling me. But that doesn't change the fact that it's your choice to follow us, does it?
2 REYNALDO: Yuh-huh. He's right you know, Buima! And we do know magic, what're you talkin' about?
3 BUIMA: Only because I've been looking after you up until this point. And I'm not going back there alone! Rey, your magic is next to useless. It just delays you from dying, and prevents nothing!
Panel 2. Close-up on Buima. She's just realized something that's both instantaneously confused and frightened her.
4 BUIMA (thought): Wait a minute... this can't be right.
Panel 3. Long shot of Buima, now stopped. She's standing just in from the entrance of the fortress.
(MORE)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 4
by Justin
PAGE TWO, CONTINUED
Panel 4. Positioned outside of the fortress's entrance, looking in on Buima, who has turned around to look back at the entrance. Aaron and Reynaldo have continued further in to the structure.
5 BUIMA (small): It's just open...? There's no barrier? No seal?
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 5
by Justin
PAGE THREE (four panels)
Panel 1. Establishing shot. Aaron, Reynaldo, and Buima enter a gigantic, highly decorated room with countless ivory pillars spotted throughout. Each pillar has been meticulously crafted by what appears to be a genius in artistic design. There are also multiple doors scattered throughout the room. The room is heavenly in design and looks like it has to have a very pure brightness filling it. But there's not. It's very dim, drab, and depressing. The atmosphere and actual feel should be the opposite of what the decor and design of the room would suggest.
1 REYNALDO: Oh ho. Who decorated this place, I wonder? It's awfully pretty!
2 AARON: It's not bad looking, is it? I pictured something more... horrific. This doesn't seem to match the description of the “grand palace of hell.”
Panel 2. We're positioned at the opposite end of the room, perhaps at eye-level with the other characters. This is just a look at the room from another angle/location. Same feel and look as before.
Panel 3. Close medium shot of Buima. She's uneasy, and looks around as if to suspect someone or something else to appear.
Panel 4. Over the shoulder shot from Reynaldo. He's looking over to one of the doors on the far side of the room.
3 REYNALDO: Boy, oh boy. This is going to be a blast! I can already see how much fun we're going to have navigating this place!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 6
by Justin
PAGE FOUR (five panels)
Panel 1. Buima is deep in thought. She's still wondering about the entrance, and how it was wide open when there was supposed to be a barrier covering it to prevent access to the fortress.
1 BUIMA (thought): It's not right. We shouldn't be in here. The Seven Sages themselves placed that there, so why...?
Panel 2. Close medium back-shot of Aaron. He's preoccupied with talking to Reynaldo.
2 BUIMA (OP): Aaron...
Panel 3. Buima has caught Aaron's attention, and he partially turns to hear her out.
3 AARON: Hm?
Panel 4. Medium shot of Buima. She's taken a much more serious attitude toward the situation, and is demanding an answer from Aaron about the flaw she's noticed regarding them even being where they are.
4 BUIMA: How were we able to get in here? Where was the barrier that was supposed to protect the entrance? I didn't even think of it, but there's supposed to be one there!
Panel 5. Extreme closeup on one of Aaron's eyes. They have, for an instant, filled with fright. He's realized that Buima might soon discover that this is more than an “adventure.”
5 SFX BA BUMP
6 AARON: Ahh...
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 7
by Justin
PAGE FIVE (four panels)
Panel 1. Long medium shot of both Aaron and Buima. Aaron is trying to shake off being suddenly overwhelmed with seriousness. He laughs, and simply dismisses what Buima says with an “oh, really? I didn't notice!” kind of attitude. Buima does not buy what he is saying for a minute, and is becoming angry.
1 AARON: What? A barrier? Ha ha... I never heard of there being such a thing! And if there was, it probably wore off ages ago! Ha ha ha...
2 BUIMA: You know what? I don't believe a word you're saying.
3 AARON: It's the truth! And if there was, then where did it go? Neither of us used any magic, so it probably expired or something!
Panel 2. Closeup of Buima's face. She's still pissed off, and simply gives Aaron an “are you serious?” look.
4 BUIMA: Uh-huh...
5 REYNALDO (OP): He's right, y'know! Buima... I think you're just a tad too serious.
Panel 3. Medium shot of Buima and Reynaldo. Reynaldo has wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and snuggled in tight so that he's cheek is almost touching hers. The focus is mainly on Buima, so we don't have to see all of Reynaldo. Buima gives him a disinterested look.
6 REYNALDO: You need to lighten up! Have some fun. It's an
adventure, so get a little enjoyment out of it!
7 BUIMA: It's kind of hard to “lighten up” when we're “adventuring” in such a dangerous place.
8 REYNALDO: Ahhh... fiddlesticks!
(MORE)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 8
by Justin
PAGE FIVE, CONTINUED
Panel 4. Long shot positioning us down the hallway that leads from the entrance to the room that the group is currently standing in. Their shapes can barely be recognized. Someone is rushing up the hallway, and we are seeing things from this persons point of view.
9 SFX: FWOOOOO
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 9
by Justin
PAGE SIX (five panels)
Panel 1. A closeup as Buima grabs on to Reynaldo's arm.
1 SFX: GRIP
Panel 2. Zoom out. Buima is smiling, as if to mind her own business, and turning her head away to make it seem as if nothing were happening. Reynaldo simply watches with a grin.
Panel 3. A closeup on Reynaldo's face as it is suddenly overcome with pain. Buima's using her magic to burn his arm, and the sizzling can even be heard.
2 SFX: SSSSSSSSS
3 REYNALDO: Agh!
Panel 4. Zoom in on Reynaldo's arm as Buima releases her grip. There is a burn mark in the shape of her hand on his arm.
4 SFX: SSSS
Panel 5. Buima has turned her figure towards the exit as she releases Reynaldo's arm. Aaron takes a step in to see what has happened, while Reynaldo blows on his arm to ease the pain.
5 BUIMA: I don't think I can take this.
6 REYNALDO: Agh! Damn it, girl! Why'd you go and do that?!
7 SFX: FFFFF
8 AARON: Rey! What's wrong?
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 10
by Justin
PAGE SEVEN (five panels)
Panel 1. Buima has turned away from both Aaron and Reynaldo, and is making her way down the hallway and back towards the entrance. She's had enough of this foolishness, and would rather go home than proceed any further. If we can see them, Aaron and Reynaldo are still tending to Reynaldo's arm.
1 BUIMA: Yeah, I've had enough. You two can keep your secrets. You can also explore this place by yourselves. I'm heading back.
Panel 2. Shot from behind Aaron and Reynaldo as they watch Buima make her exit. They do nothing to stop her.
Panel 3. A close medium shot of Aaron. He's disappointed that Buima decided to leave them, but knows that it was for her own good. He'd rather it this way, but it still hurts.
2 AARON: Buima...
Panel 4. Zoomed out shot of Buima walking down the hallway towards the exit.
Panel 5. Another shot from the POV of an invisible person/force rushing up the hall (from the entrance) and towards Buima. She doesn't notice a thing. Perhaps she's too caught up in her thoughts to notice, but either way she's oblivious to what's going on right in front of her.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 11
by Justin
PAGE EIGHT (four panels)
Panel 1. Close up on Buima's diamond necklace. In this instance, we're seeing her necklace being cut off—or rather, it has already been cut, and this occurs directly after. The two ends have just separated. It should be subtle, but the two pieces should be far enough apart for us to notice what's happening.
1 SFX: TEP
Panel 2. The largest panel on the page. Buima is knocked back by this incredible force—right off of her two feet! Her necklace has also been stolen by this same force. This is Fern, another of our leading characters, but for the time being he's invisible. Have the necklace trail back, perhaps. Maybe he's holding on to one end in a sloppy manner; just grab it and run—that kind of way.
2 BUIMA: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
3 SFX: SCHWOOOOOO
Panel 3. Both panel 3 and 4 are close up reaction shots of Aaron and Reynaldo respectively. They're shocked by Buima's sudden scream. This panel shows Aaron.
4 AARON: Buima?!
Panel 4. Reynaldo's reaction shot.
5 REYNALDO: ...?!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 11
by Justin
PAGE EIGHT (four panels)
Panel 1. Close up on Buima's diamond necklace. In this instance, we're seeing her necklace being cut off—or rather, it has already been cut, and this occurs directly after. The two ends have just separated. It should be subtle, but the two pieces should be far enough apart for us to notice what's happening.
1 SFX: TEP
Panel 2. The largest panel on the page. Buima is knocked back by this incredible force—right off of her two feet! Her necklace has also been stolen by this same force. This is Fern, another of our leading characters, but for the time being he's invisible. Have the necklace trail back, perhaps. Maybe he's holding on to one end in a sloppy manner; just grab it and run—that kind of way.
2 BUIMA: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
3 SFX: SCHWOOOOOO
Panel 3. Both panel 3 and 4 are close up reaction shots of Aaron and Reynaldo respectively. They're shocked by Buima's sudden scream. This panel shows Aaron.
4 AARON: Buima?!
Panel 4. Reynaldo's reaction shot.
5 REYNALDO: ...?!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 12
by Justin
PAGE NINE(four panels)
Panel 1. Both Aaron and Reynaldo are rushing towards the door that leads down the hallway connecting to the entrance—the same place Buima was attacked. They're frantic to make sure she's not in any danger.
1 AARON: Buima...!!!
2 REYNALDO: What's that girl done now?!
Panel 2. We're seeing things from the POV of Fern (the invisible force) once again. This time Aaron is in his line-of-sight, and he has his eye on whatever valuables he can quickly scout on Aaron's figure. Fern didn't stop after attacking Buima. He's just rushing forward with no regard to where he's actually going. He simply wants to get his hands on whatever valuables he can in the smallest amount of time possible.
3 SFX: FWOOOOOM
Panel 3. Aaron seems to notice something heading his way. He can't quite put his finger on it, but he doesn't have time to thoroughly think things through. We've caught him in the moment just before he's about to act.
4 SFX: GASP
Panel 4. Aaron quickly moves out of the way as the force blows by him. Perhaps we can show this with the swaying of his hair and clothes, like a mighty gust of wind just passed him by. He's dodged by jumping against the wall, and in the process flattening Reynaldo behind him.
SFX: FWOOO
SFX: THUMP!
REYNALDO: AGH...!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 13
by Justin
PAGE TEN (four panels)
Panel 1. The invisible figure is fleeing with both Buima's necklace and Aaron's pouch of gold that he had at his waist. Have us in front of him as he makes his escape (in to the room Aaron and Reynaldo were just in), while still being able to see Aaron in the background. Aaron is shocked that both he AND Buima had something stolen from them.
1 FERN (thought): I need more than this, buy they look fairly
competent. This will have to do...!
2 AARON: What?! Buima's necklace...?-
3 AARON: -and my gold?!
Panel 2. Aaron's looking back to Fern while attempting to chase after the thief. Fern's still against the wall, giving Aaron an “Are you serious?!” face as he listens to the orders he's given.
4 AARON: I'm chasing after whatever that thing is!
Rey, you make sure Buima's okay!
5 REYNALDO: Hold on a minute! She's your sister!
6 AARON: Doesn't matter! I'm faster than you!
Panel 3. Reynaldo sits against the wall and gives a sigh, taking mild offence against Aaron's claim.
7 SFX: SIGH
Panel 4. Zoom in to Reynaldo's head. Buima's gotten herself up without any help, approached Reynaldo without him noticing, and now points her hand at him in the shape of a gun. You know, with the index and middle fingers pointing out, and the thumb straight up. If it's possible to see Reynaldo's reaction, he's shocked because he doesn't know who exactly is behind him.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 14
by Justin
PAGE ELEVEN(five panels)
Panel 1. Switch to Aaron. He's running down a long and dark corridor after Fern, who remains invisible.
1 AARON (burst): You won't get away! I know what you are!
Your magic doesn't last forever!
Panel 2. Aaron arrives at a single stone door. There are no other paths to choose from, and no other entrances. Just this single door.
Panel 3. Frontal close medium shot of Aaron. He's thinking on whether or not he'd passed another entrance, or perhaps taken a wrong turn in his pursuit.
2 AARON (thought): This has to be it. There were no other entrances, no other hallways... and the scent ends here.
3 AARON: In here, 'eh?
Panel 4. Aaron places his hand on the doorknob/handle/whatever.
Panel 5. When he opens the door, Aaron is engulfed by countless rays of intense light. He's making an attempt to shield his eyes, and turns his head down slightly to aid in the matter. But he still presses on.
4 SFX: SHEEEEEEEEN
5 AARON: Ugh...! So... bright.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 15
by Justin
PAGE TWELVE(splash page)
Splash Page. Establishing shot of a an magnificent forest. It is a beautiful, expansive sea of trees and grass. This is an entire other dimension that Aaron has stepped in to. There are no walls, no ceiling, and no end in sight. The land just seems to go on forever in every direction. But it is filled with life! It has to be filled with life. Rivers, streams, birds, bushes, and everything you can think of that would make this scene a spectacle to behold. There can be no “dull” or “boring” areas. It has to brim with beauty.
1 AARON: Wow... What in the hell have I just stepped in
to? How could there possibly be something like
this in here of all places?
2 AARON: This is beautiful...!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 16
by Justin
PAGE THIRTEEN(five panels)
Panel 1. Switch back to Buima and Reynaldo. We start with a closeup of the side of Reynaldo's face, up near his forehead and reaching back to his ear. There's a burn mark that he'd gotten from Buima moments before (back when she was holding her fingers to his head from behind). Make sure the burn is one the same side she'd previously been pointing to in Panel 4 of Page 13.
1 SFX: PANT
Panel 2. Buima and Reynaldo are running down the same hallway Aaron had previously been in. Reynaldo is angry that Buima burned him again, and Buima doesn't look all that delighted either. You can't blame her though, she didn't get to leave AND she had her necklace stolen! She's more than disgruntled.
2 REYNALDO: You have no patience for anything, you know
that?! If you had to wait then I would've helped!
3 BUIMA: I bet. I could've been laying there and dying,
but you two would still argue over who'd have to help!
Panel 3. Reynaldo just rolls his eyes at Buima's nonsense. Her reasoning is just plain ridiculous, and he's had it with listening to her. He still manages to keep his cool, though. He's not a man to easily become angered.
4 REYNALDO: Right, right...
5 REYNALDO: But that still didn't give you the right to go and fry my head!
Panel 4. Buima forms her hand in to a rough gun shape and holds it down, trying to contain her anger. The desire to shoot and burn the rest of Reynaldo is overflowing, and she's trying to keep it in check. She'd do it again if she could.
6 BUIMA: And I'd do it again, if I wasn't so sure I'd
kill you this time around!
(MORE)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 17
by Justin
PAGE THIRTEEN, CONTINUED
Panel 5. Buima and Reynaldo stop walking, and come upon the same door that both Aaron and Fern had recently entered.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 18
by Justin
PAGE FOURTEEN (five panels)
Panel 1. Switch scenes to back inside of the forested area. Aaron's leaning against a tree, exhausted from searching for Fern. He's had no luck, and has completely beaten himself out in the process.
Panel 2. Medium shot of Aaron, still leaning against the tree. He's tired. We're actually able to get a good look at this in this shot. Beads of sweat are running down his face, his eyes are heavy, and his mouth might even be hanging open just a bit to help him catch his breath.
1 AARON: Damn it...
No luck...
2 AARON: Where'd he disappear to...?
Panel 3. Over the shoulder shot from behind Fern. He's up in a tree, looking down at Aaron from a good distance away. He's not too far away, but he's not that close either. He can see Aaron fairly well. Fern's invisibility has begun to wear off starting at the head, and then working its way down until it reaches his feet. Here we should be able to see a bit of his hair finally starting to become visible again.
3 SFX (invisibility vanishing): NYUUUUUU
Panel 4. Close medium shot now looking directly at Fern's visible face. Position us down from him a bit, below his eye level, and have him looking down on us in a condescending manner. Fern's a soft individual with a rough exterior. He's got cold and murderous eyes, a scruffy beard, and dirt all over him. His hair's a mess too—a ball of dirt-ridden and greasy curls that hasn't been washed in at least a few weeks. This man's been through some hard times, but he pushes through and makes the best of what he's got—and that's usually from someone else. He's a thief after all.
Panel 5. Fern pulls a dagger from his clothes. He's ready to go in for the kill.
4 SFX: SHIIING
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 19
by Justin
PAGE FIFTEEN (three panels)
Panel 1. Aaron's eyes widen in surprise as a deafening squawk catches him off guard. Something monstrous is approaching from the skies, closing in on Aaron.
1 SFX: SQUAAAAAWK
Panel 2. Aaron's turning around as fast as possible to get a glimpse at this incoming threat (we're still not able to see what it is).
Panel 3. A colossal avian beast is descending from the skies and swooping down directly for Aaron. It's caught him in its gaze, and is wasting no time at all in closing the distance between it and a tasty meal!
2 SFX: SQUAAAAAWK!!!
3 AARON: Ah... ahhh!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 20
by Justin
PAGE SIXTEEN (four panels)
Panel 1. Aaron runs for dear life, while the gigantic bird-like demon pursues him.
1 AARON: Ung...!
2 AARON (thought): Shit, shit...! I thought there weren't supposed
to be any demons like that left in here!
3 AARON (thought): I've got to get away...! I have to!!!
Just run! Run and don't stop!
4 SFX: SQUAAAAAWK
Panel 2. Switch back to Fern. He's in awe of what he'd just witnessed, thankful that it wasn't him that had been the target of that demon.
5 FERN: What a time for the invisibility to wear off...
Just glad it's not me being chased down by that
thing...
Panel 3. Cut back to Aaron as he narrowly avoids being skewered by the bird's mighty beak.
6 SFX: SHNK
7 AARONG (burst): AGH...!
Panel 4. Closeup of the bird's beak as it begins to open. Hundreds of little worm-like creatures/tentacles squirm around inside. They're to subdue prey that just can't sit still, and it's decided to use them against Aaron—a fine example of such prey.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 21
by Justin
PAGE SEVENTEEN (four panels)
Panel 1. The bird demon opens its beak, and the tentacles spew out, every one of them aiming at Aaron. He's making his best effort to flee, but it's just not enough.
1 SFX: SPLEAGH
2 AARON: Come on...!
Panel 2. The tentacles wrap around Aaron's body and secure a tight grip, assuring that he doesn't move a step further.
3 SFX: WHP
4 AARON: Agh...?!
5 AARON: No! NO!
Panel 3. With Aaron held in place, the bird demon rushes forward to take him in to its mouth before he's able to escape.
6 SFX: SWOOOOOO
Panel 4. A black panel. Completely black.
7 CAP: It'd end... just like that. One little screw-up and everything was jeopardized. Figures.
We can plan as much as we want, but we're never
prepared. I wonder what Buima would have done if she'd been there? It's good that she wasn't.
I'm glad.
"Venaitura."
*Roughly after Page 11~ I decided to tone down on my directing and description within the panels. *
"The concept of heaven on earth seems all too delightful. All it takes is one genocidal maniac, and a fortress with enough firepower to snuff out an entire continent. Aaron Ferris, a native demon, is charged with making sure something like this remains a fantasy. To him, a life of war is better than no life at all. "
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 1
by Justin
PAGE ONE (three panels)
Panel 1. Large panel. Establishing shot of VENAITURA, a magnificent tower-esque fortress that is anchored in to the earth. We're seeing things from a birds-eye view. Venaitura has to be MASSIVE—tall AND wide. It's gigantic. It also has to be menacing, and have this truly dangerous air surrounding it. No one (if they're sane) wants to get near this place. Not even close. The fortress is encircled by a mountain range, with a marshland/bog that spews poisonous miasma leading up to the entrance. Everything in the vicinity is either dead or dying. Even the earth has become diseased by this unholy structure. Oh, and there are no towns or cities near this place. No human life what-so-ever.
1 CAP: DEMON FORTRESS VENAITURA
2 CAP: I lead both of them in there knowing the dangers that would await us. I knew I had Reynaldo to rely on, but for how long could I keep this away from her? It became more ridiculous by the minute. She shouldn't have come with us.
Panel 2. Worms-eye view with a dutch tilt. We're seeing Aaron, Reynaldo, and Buima(in that order) approaching the fortress. You can barely distinguish their features amidst the fog and overall drab atmosphere. We should still be able to make out the key features however. Like the entrance, the ground, and some outlining structures... perhaps the side of one of the mountains that's strayed on to the path? Whatever seems fitting.
3 BUIMA: You want us to go in there? Are you serious? Aaron, this is ridiculous! What are you thinking?!
4 AARON: You don't have to follow us you know, Buima. It's
entirely your choice!
(More)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 2
by Justin
PAGE ONE, CONTINUED
Panel 3. Close medium shot of Buima. Buima is in her early twenties, and is a human who is well-versed in magic and its mystical properties. She's a strong individual in both spirit and mind, and it shows through her appearance. She's a very beautiful woman that doesn't decorate herself with unneeded accessories. Regardless, she does wear a gorgeous diamond necklace. She's built like any normal woman in her mid-twenties, and in fairly good shape would look like. The clothing she (and the other characters) wear can be decided entirely by the artist. The time period does have to be considered, of course, and this story was made with the Middle Ages (medieval) in mind, so their attire must be designed accordingly. In the panel, Buima is showing concern for her foolish brother, but is also very unhappy and frustrated with his decision.
5 BUIMA: My choice? How could I possibly allow you to go in there with just Reynaldo? Neither of you know any proper magic, and you'd undoubtedly be killed! This isn't a game!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 3
by Justin
PAGE TWO (four panels)
Panel 1. Long medium shot of Aaron, Reynaldo, and Buima as they take their first steps in to the fortress. Aaron is giving little mind to Buima, who continues to try and sway his decision. Reynaldo simply ignores them both, and actually appears to be quite amused with the bickering siblings. Aaron and Reynaldo are both demons. And demons in “Venaitura” aren't these gigantic, monstrous, and over-sized beasts. There are different classifications. Aaron and Reynaldo are “Third-Level,” meaning they have a very human appearance. Maybe they have pointed ears, or sharper teeth? Perhaps snake-like eyes! Or even some scales here-and-there. Whatever. But it can't be too OUT THERE. Make it fairly subtle. And because they're both demons, they're fairly lean and muscular. But not overly so! They're both in their early twenties, and are roughly the same height. Aaron might be a bit taller. Aaron also has longer hair than Reynaldo, who prefers to keep his short. If it's possible to see, there's also a small pouch of gold attached to Aaron's waist. This is important for an upcoming event.
1 AARON: Yeah, yeah. I know that it's not a game, you don't have to keep telling me. But that doesn't change the fact that it's your choice to follow us, does it?
2 REYNALDO: Yuh-huh. He's right you know, Buima! And we do know magic, what're you talkin' about?
3 BUIMA: Only because I've been looking after you up until this point. And I'm not going back there alone! Rey, your magic is next to useless. It just delays you from dying, and prevents nothing!
Panel 2. Close-up on Buima. She's just realized something that's both instantaneously confused and frightened her.
4 BUIMA (thought): Wait a minute... this can't be right.
Panel 3. Long shot of Buima, now stopped. She's standing just in from the entrance of the fortress.
(MORE)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 4
by Justin
PAGE TWO, CONTINUED
Panel 4. Positioned outside of the fortress's entrance, looking in on Buima, who has turned around to look back at the entrance. Aaron and Reynaldo have continued further in to the structure.
5 BUIMA (small): It's just open...? There's no barrier? No seal?
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 5
by Justin
PAGE THREE (four panels)
Panel 1. Establishing shot. Aaron, Reynaldo, and Buima enter a gigantic, highly decorated room with countless ivory pillars spotted throughout. Each pillar has been meticulously crafted by what appears to be a genius in artistic design. There are also multiple doors scattered throughout the room. The room is heavenly in design and looks like it has to have a very pure brightness filling it. But there's not. It's very dim, drab, and depressing. The atmosphere and actual feel should be the opposite of what the decor and design of the room would suggest.
1 REYNALDO: Oh ho. Who decorated this place, I wonder? It's awfully pretty!
2 AARON: It's not bad looking, is it? I pictured something more... horrific. This doesn't seem to match the description of the “grand palace of hell.”
Panel 2. We're positioned at the opposite end of the room, perhaps at eye-level with the other characters. This is just a look at the room from another angle/location. Same feel and look as before.
Panel 3. Close medium shot of Buima. She's uneasy, and looks around as if to suspect someone or something else to appear.
Panel 4. Over the shoulder shot from Reynaldo. He's looking over to one of the doors on the far side of the room.
3 REYNALDO: Boy, oh boy. This is going to be a blast! I can already see how much fun we're going to have navigating this place!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 6
by Justin
PAGE FOUR (five panels)
Panel 1. Buima is deep in thought. She's still wondering about the entrance, and how it was wide open when there was supposed to be a barrier covering it to prevent access to the fortress.
1 BUIMA (thought): It's not right. We shouldn't be in here. The Seven Sages themselves placed that there, so why...?
Panel 2. Close medium back-shot of Aaron. He's preoccupied with talking to Reynaldo.
2 BUIMA (OP): Aaron...
Panel 3. Buima has caught Aaron's attention, and he partially turns to hear her out.
3 AARON: Hm?
Panel 4. Medium shot of Buima. She's taken a much more serious attitude toward the situation, and is demanding an answer from Aaron about the flaw she's noticed regarding them even being where they are.
4 BUIMA: How were we able to get in here? Where was the barrier that was supposed to protect the entrance? I didn't even think of it, but there's supposed to be one there!
Panel 5. Extreme closeup on one of Aaron's eyes. They have, for an instant, filled with fright. He's realized that Buima might soon discover that this is more than an “adventure.”
5 SFX BA BUMP
6 AARON: Ahh...
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 7
by Justin
PAGE FIVE (four panels)
Panel 1. Long medium shot of both Aaron and Buima. Aaron is trying to shake off being suddenly overwhelmed with seriousness. He laughs, and simply dismisses what Buima says with an “oh, really? I didn't notice!” kind of attitude. Buima does not buy what he is saying for a minute, and is becoming angry.
1 AARON: What? A barrier? Ha ha... I never heard of there being such a thing! And if there was, it probably wore off ages ago! Ha ha ha...
2 BUIMA: You know what? I don't believe a word you're saying.
3 AARON: It's the truth! And if there was, then where did it go? Neither of us used any magic, so it probably expired or something!
Panel 2. Closeup of Buima's face. She's still pissed off, and simply gives Aaron an “are you serious?” look.
4 BUIMA: Uh-huh...
5 REYNALDO (OP): He's right, y'know! Buima... I think you're just a tad too serious.
Panel 3. Medium shot of Buima and Reynaldo. Reynaldo has wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and snuggled in tight so that he's cheek is almost touching hers. The focus is mainly on Buima, so we don't have to see all of Reynaldo. Buima gives him a disinterested look.
6 REYNALDO: You need to lighten up! Have some fun. It's an
adventure, so get a little enjoyment out of it!
7 BUIMA: It's kind of hard to “lighten up” when we're “adventuring” in such a dangerous place.
8 REYNALDO: Ahhh... fiddlesticks!
(MORE)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 8
by Justin
PAGE FIVE, CONTINUED
Panel 4. Long shot positioning us down the hallway that leads from the entrance to the room that the group is currently standing in. Their shapes can barely be recognized. Someone is rushing up the hallway, and we are seeing things from this persons point of view.
9 SFX: FWOOOOO
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 9
by Justin
PAGE SIX (five panels)
Panel 1. A closeup as Buima grabs on to Reynaldo's arm.
1 SFX: GRIP
Panel 2. Zoom out. Buima is smiling, as if to mind her own business, and turning her head away to make it seem as if nothing were happening. Reynaldo simply watches with a grin.
Panel 3. A closeup on Reynaldo's face as it is suddenly overcome with pain. Buima's using her magic to burn his arm, and the sizzling can even be heard.
2 SFX: SSSSSSSSS
3 REYNALDO: Agh!
Panel 4. Zoom in on Reynaldo's arm as Buima releases her grip. There is a burn mark in the shape of her hand on his arm.
4 SFX: SSSS
Panel 5. Buima has turned her figure towards the exit as she releases Reynaldo's arm. Aaron takes a step in to see what has happened, while Reynaldo blows on his arm to ease the pain.
5 BUIMA: I don't think I can take this.
6 REYNALDO: Agh! Damn it, girl! Why'd you go and do that?!
7 SFX: FFFFF
8 AARON: Rey! What's wrong?
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 10
by Justin
PAGE SEVEN (five panels)
Panel 1. Buima has turned away from both Aaron and Reynaldo, and is making her way down the hallway and back towards the entrance. She's had enough of this foolishness, and would rather go home than proceed any further. If we can see them, Aaron and Reynaldo are still tending to Reynaldo's arm.
1 BUIMA: Yeah, I've had enough. You two can keep your secrets. You can also explore this place by yourselves. I'm heading back.
Panel 2. Shot from behind Aaron and Reynaldo as they watch Buima make her exit. They do nothing to stop her.
Panel 3. A close medium shot of Aaron. He's disappointed that Buima decided to leave them, but knows that it was for her own good. He'd rather it this way, but it still hurts.
2 AARON: Buima...
Panel 4. Zoomed out shot of Buima walking down the hallway towards the exit.
Panel 5. Another shot from the POV of an invisible person/force rushing up the hall (from the entrance) and towards Buima. She doesn't notice a thing. Perhaps she's too caught up in her thoughts to notice, but either way she's oblivious to what's going on right in front of her.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 11
by Justin
PAGE EIGHT (four panels)
Panel 1. Close up on Buima's diamond necklace. In this instance, we're seeing her necklace being cut off—or rather, it has already been cut, and this occurs directly after. The two ends have just separated. It should be subtle, but the two pieces should be far enough apart for us to notice what's happening.
1 SFX: TEP
Panel 2. The largest panel on the page. Buima is knocked back by this incredible force—right off of her two feet! Her necklace has also been stolen by this same force. This is Fern, another of our leading characters, but for the time being he's invisible. Have the necklace trail back, perhaps. Maybe he's holding on to one end in a sloppy manner; just grab it and run—that kind of way.
2 BUIMA: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
3 SFX: SCHWOOOOOO
Panel 3. Both panel 3 and 4 are close up reaction shots of Aaron and Reynaldo respectively. They're shocked by Buima's sudden scream. This panel shows Aaron.
4 AARON: Buima?!
Panel 4. Reynaldo's reaction shot.
5 REYNALDO: ...?!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 11
by Justin
PAGE EIGHT (four panels)
Panel 1. Close up on Buima's diamond necklace. In this instance, we're seeing her necklace being cut off—or rather, it has already been cut, and this occurs directly after. The two ends have just separated. It should be subtle, but the two pieces should be far enough apart for us to notice what's happening.
1 SFX: TEP
Panel 2. The largest panel on the page. Buima is knocked back by this incredible force—right off of her two feet! Her necklace has also been stolen by this same force. This is Fern, another of our leading characters, but for the time being he's invisible. Have the necklace trail back, perhaps. Maybe he's holding on to one end in a sloppy manner; just grab it and run—that kind of way.
2 BUIMA: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
3 SFX: SCHWOOOOOO
Panel 3. Both panel 3 and 4 are close up reaction shots of Aaron and Reynaldo respectively. They're shocked by Buima's sudden scream. This panel shows Aaron.
4 AARON: Buima?!
Panel 4. Reynaldo's reaction shot.
5 REYNALDO: ...?!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 12
by Justin
PAGE NINE(four panels)
Panel 1. Both Aaron and Reynaldo are rushing towards the door that leads down the hallway connecting to the entrance—the same place Buima was attacked. They're frantic to make sure she's not in any danger.
1 AARON: Buima...!!!
2 REYNALDO: What's that girl done now?!
Panel 2. We're seeing things from the POV of Fern (the invisible force) once again. This time Aaron is in his line-of-sight, and he has his eye on whatever valuables he can quickly scout on Aaron's figure. Fern didn't stop after attacking Buima. He's just rushing forward with no regard to where he's actually going. He simply wants to get his hands on whatever valuables he can in the smallest amount of time possible.
3 SFX: FWOOOOOM
Panel 3. Aaron seems to notice something heading his way. He can't quite put his finger on it, but he doesn't have time to thoroughly think things through. We've caught him in the moment just before he's about to act.
4 SFX: GASP
Panel 4. Aaron quickly moves out of the way as the force blows by him. Perhaps we can show this with the swaying of his hair and clothes, like a mighty gust of wind just passed him by. He's dodged by jumping against the wall, and in the process flattening Reynaldo behind him.
SFX: FWOOO
SFX: THUMP!
REYNALDO: AGH...!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 13
by Justin
PAGE TEN (four panels)
Panel 1. The invisible figure is fleeing with both Buima's necklace and Aaron's pouch of gold that he had at his waist. Have us in front of him as he makes his escape (in to the room Aaron and Reynaldo were just in), while still being able to see Aaron in the background. Aaron is shocked that both he AND Buima had something stolen from them.
1 FERN (thought): I need more than this, buy they look fairly
competent. This will have to do...!
2 AARON: What?! Buima's necklace...?-
3 AARON: -and my gold?!
Panel 2. Aaron's looking back to Fern while attempting to chase after the thief. Fern's still against the wall, giving Aaron an “Are you serious?!” face as he listens to the orders he's given.
4 AARON: I'm chasing after whatever that thing is!
Rey, you make sure Buima's okay!
5 REYNALDO: Hold on a minute! She's your sister!
6 AARON: Doesn't matter! I'm faster than you!
Panel 3. Reynaldo sits against the wall and gives a sigh, taking mild offence against Aaron's claim.
7 SFX: SIGH
Panel 4. Zoom in to Reynaldo's head. Buima's gotten herself up without any help, approached Reynaldo without him noticing, and now points her hand at him in the shape of a gun. You know, with the index and middle fingers pointing out, and the thumb straight up. If it's possible to see Reynaldo's reaction, he's shocked because he doesn't know who exactly is behind him.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 14
by Justin
PAGE ELEVEN(five panels)
Panel 1. Switch to Aaron. He's running down a long and dark corridor after Fern, who remains invisible.
1 AARON (burst): You won't get away! I know what you are!
Your magic doesn't last forever!
Panel 2. Aaron arrives at a single stone door. There are no other paths to choose from, and no other entrances. Just this single door.
Panel 3. Frontal close medium shot of Aaron. He's thinking on whether or not he'd passed another entrance, or perhaps taken a wrong turn in his pursuit.
2 AARON (thought): This has to be it. There were no other entrances, no other hallways... and the scent ends here.
3 AARON: In here, 'eh?
Panel 4. Aaron places his hand on the doorknob/handle/whatever.
Panel 5. When he opens the door, Aaron is engulfed by countless rays of intense light. He's making an attempt to shield his eyes, and turns his head down slightly to aid in the matter. But he still presses on.
4 SFX: SHEEEEEEEEN
5 AARON: Ugh...! So... bright.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 15
by Justin
PAGE TWELVE(splash page)
Splash Page. Establishing shot of a an magnificent forest. It is a beautiful, expansive sea of trees and grass. This is an entire other dimension that Aaron has stepped in to. There are no walls, no ceiling, and no end in sight. The land just seems to go on forever in every direction. But it is filled with life! It has to be filled with life. Rivers, streams, birds, bushes, and everything you can think of that would make this scene a spectacle to behold. There can be no “dull” or “boring” areas. It has to brim with beauty.
1 AARON: Wow... What in the hell have I just stepped in
to? How could there possibly be something like
this in here of all places?
2 AARON: This is beautiful...!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 16
by Justin
PAGE THIRTEEN(five panels)
Panel 1. Switch back to Buima and Reynaldo. We start with a closeup of the side of Reynaldo's face, up near his forehead and reaching back to his ear. There's a burn mark that he'd gotten from Buima moments before (back when she was holding her fingers to his head from behind). Make sure the burn is one the same side she'd previously been pointing to in Panel 4 of Page 13.
1 SFX: PANT
Panel 2. Buima and Reynaldo are running down the same hallway Aaron had previously been in. Reynaldo is angry that Buima burned him again, and Buima doesn't look all that delighted either. You can't blame her though, she didn't get to leave AND she had her necklace stolen! She's more than disgruntled.
2 REYNALDO: You have no patience for anything, you know
that?! If you had to wait then I would've helped!
3 BUIMA: I bet. I could've been laying there and dying,
but you two would still argue over who'd have to help!
Panel 3. Reynaldo just rolls his eyes at Buima's nonsense. Her reasoning is just plain ridiculous, and he's had it with listening to her. He still manages to keep his cool, though. He's not a man to easily become angered.
4 REYNALDO: Right, right...
5 REYNALDO: But that still didn't give you the right to go and fry my head!
Panel 4. Buima forms her hand in to a rough gun shape and holds it down, trying to contain her anger. The desire to shoot and burn the rest of Reynaldo is overflowing, and she's trying to keep it in check. She'd do it again if she could.
6 BUIMA: And I'd do it again, if I wasn't so sure I'd
kill you this time around!
(MORE)
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 17
by Justin
PAGE THIRTEEN, CONTINUED
Panel 5. Buima and Reynaldo stop walking, and come upon the same door that both Aaron and Fern had recently entered.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 18
by Justin
PAGE FOURTEEN (five panels)
Panel 1. Switch scenes to back inside of the forested area. Aaron's leaning against a tree, exhausted from searching for Fern. He's had no luck, and has completely beaten himself out in the process.
Panel 2. Medium shot of Aaron, still leaning against the tree. He's tired. We're actually able to get a good look at this in this shot. Beads of sweat are running down his face, his eyes are heavy, and his mouth might even be hanging open just a bit to help him catch his breath.
1 AARON: Damn it...
No luck...
2 AARON: Where'd he disappear to...?
Panel 3. Over the shoulder shot from behind Fern. He's up in a tree, looking down at Aaron from a good distance away. He's not too far away, but he's not that close either. He can see Aaron fairly well. Fern's invisibility has begun to wear off starting at the head, and then working its way down until it reaches his feet. Here we should be able to see a bit of his hair finally starting to become visible again.
3 SFX (invisibility vanishing): NYUUUUUU
Panel 4. Close medium shot now looking directly at Fern's visible face. Position us down from him a bit, below his eye level, and have him looking down on us in a condescending manner. Fern's a soft individual with a rough exterior. He's got cold and murderous eyes, a scruffy beard, and dirt all over him. His hair's a mess too—a ball of dirt-ridden and greasy curls that hasn't been washed in at least a few weeks. This man's been through some hard times, but he pushes through and makes the best of what he's got—and that's usually from someone else. He's a thief after all.
Panel 5. Fern pulls a dagger from his clothes. He's ready to go in for the kill.
4 SFX: SHIIING
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 19
by Justin
PAGE FIFTEEN (three panels)
Panel 1. Aaron's eyes widen in surprise as a deafening squawk catches him off guard. Something monstrous is approaching from the skies, closing in on Aaron.
1 SFX: SQUAAAAAWK
Panel 2. Aaron's turning around as fast as possible to get a glimpse at this incoming threat (we're still not able to see what it is).
Panel 3. A colossal avian beast is descending from the skies and swooping down directly for Aaron. It's caught him in its gaze, and is wasting no time at all in closing the distance between it and a tasty meal!
2 SFX: SQUAAAAAWK!!!
3 AARON: Ah... ahhh!
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 20
by Justin
PAGE SIXTEEN (four panels)
Panel 1. Aaron runs for dear life, while the gigantic bird-like demon pursues him.
1 AARON: Ung...!
2 AARON (thought): Shit, shit...! I thought there weren't supposed
to be any demons like that left in here!
3 AARON (thought): I've got to get away...! I have to!!!
Just run! Run and don't stop!
4 SFX: SQUAAAAAWK
Panel 2. Switch back to Fern. He's in awe of what he'd just witnessed, thankful that it wasn't him that had been the target of that demon.
5 FERN: What a time for the invisibility to wear off...
Just glad it's not me being chased down by that
thing...
Panel 3. Cut back to Aaron as he narrowly avoids being skewered by the bird's mighty beak.
6 SFX: SHNK
7 AARONG (burst): AGH...!
Panel 4. Closeup of the bird's beak as it begins to open. Hundreds of little worm-like creatures/tentacles squirm around inside. They're to subdue prey that just can't sit still, and it's decided to use them against Aaron—a fine example of such prey.
Venaitura, Issue #1 Page 21
by Justin
PAGE SEVENTEEN (four panels)
Panel 1. The bird demon opens its beak, and the tentacles spew out, every one of them aiming at Aaron. He's making his best effort to flee, but it's just not enough.
1 SFX: SPLEAGH
2 AARON: Come on...!
Panel 2. The tentacles wrap around Aaron's body and secure a tight grip, assuring that he doesn't move a step further.
3 SFX: WHP
4 AARON: Agh...?!
5 AARON: No! NO!
Panel 3. With Aaron held in place, the bird demon rushes forward to take him in to its mouth before he's able to escape.
6 SFX: SWOOOOOO
Panel 4. A black panel. Completely black.
7 CAP: It'd end... just like that. One little screw-up and everything was jeopardized. Figures.
We can plan as much as we want, but we're never
prepared. I wonder what Buima would have done if she'd been there? It's good that she wasn't.
I'm glad.