"At least I'm reading comic books."
Are you, really? Comics and Stories #700 was promoted in advance as being a 24-page comic, but now that it's out, it's actually more like 40 pages, and contains a second special, commemorative story, "Close-Ups," by longtime Donald writer/artist William Van Horn, on top of the superhero story you discussed in your review.
You say nothing about the Van Horn story (which would certainly have appealed to 22-year-old you), you give the comic's page count as the old 24 pages, and you actually say nothing about the superhero story beyond obsessing over a single pun. I'm going to conclude you didn't actually read this comic book. Maybe you didn't even open it!